The season is upon us, and if you've been following along, you should be flaunting your beach body from the shores of Nantucket to St. Tropez. I'm not here to speak of calories. Watching one's calories is what one does throughout the Fall, Winter, and Spring. The Summer is purely about pleasure. And there is one country that has spent centuries perfecting the pursuit of leisure and pleasure. (Can it be any coincidence that Marcello Mastroianni, Federico Fellini, and Sophia Loren all hail from here?)
Vacation: verb ex. The Italians Vacation Better Than You Do
Ragazzi, it is a lifestyle, and like any lifestyle, it requires committment. The science of summering is an art, so begin by using vacation and summer as verbs. Verbs require action, and below I will outline the basic tenets of summering well. Read on...
Tanning
If you're fortunate enough to have a complexion the colour of gilded Roman coins such as I (so lucky!), you may move ahead to the next section. If, however, your "tan" is more akin in colour to the boiled crustaceans that the Nicoise are so fond of, read my previous post outlining the basics of tanning. It is important to use an SPF of 30: allowing just enough sun into the dermis to be kissed with colour, without looking like the victim of permanent microdermabrasion. Also important is the use of an apres-sun moisturizer. While the sea water is excellent for the skin, the salt and sun will leave you parched. Try In Fiore's body oils for soft skin and a sexy scent:
Vacation: verb ex. The Italians Vacation Better Than You Do
Ragazzi, it is a lifestyle, and like any lifestyle, it requires committment. The science of summering is an art, so begin by using vacation and summer as verbs. Verbs require action, and below I will outline the basic tenets of summering well. Read on...
Tanning
If you're fortunate enough to have a complexion the colour of gilded Roman coins such as I (so lucky!), you may move ahead to the next section. If, however, your "tan" is more akin in colour to the boiled crustaceans that the Nicoise are so fond of, read my previous post outlining the basics of tanning. It is important to use an SPF of 30: allowing just enough sun into the dermis to be kissed with colour, without looking like the victim of permanent microdermabrasion. Also important is the use of an apres-sun moisturizer. While the sea water is excellent for the skin, the salt and sun will leave you parched. Try In Fiore's body oils for soft skin and a sexy scent:
Food & Wine
You've been a disciplined little beast all year long. This is your reward. Italy has some of the greatest cuisine in the world, so enjoy it. Begin the day with a caffe macchiato, shying away from heavy, milky drinks such as lattes and cappuccinos. If you must eat breakfast, be decadent. Gelato is an absolutely acceptable (and highly encouraged) breakfast staple.
You may notice that la spiaggia begins clearing out at 13:00. Follow suit and find a seaside trattoria or ristorante for il pranzo. Order a bottle of acqua minerale frizzante: the high mineral content and natural effervescence are fantastic for your health and digestion. Order wine by the bottle: the best ones are not served al bicchiere. Try a crisp Falanghina, or an icy-cold, fruity Orvieto Bianco.
To eat, begin with the bruschetta, which will likely be made using the gorgeous San Marzano tomato, widely considered to be the greatest tomato in the world. Follow with a plate of cozze, mussels steamed in butter and garlic, finished with freshly chopped parsley and mint. For a pure taste of the sea, the only pasta to order is the spaghetti alle vonghole, spaghetti with clams. A true coastal staple, the al dente pasta is tossed with butter, olive oil, and steamed clams, and finished with white wine and fines herbes.
While eating, be sure to revel in the smugness that you so richly deserve. While your dining-mate (let's call her Helga) dabs furiously at her sweaty brow, nervously eyeing the pool of butter
collecting at the bottom of your plate, be sure to slowwwwly swirl your spaghetti on the fork, before dragging the entire mound through said pool of butter. For extra effect, tear off a large piece of bread (oh, the carbs!) and mop up as much of the remnant oil & butter as the bread will soak up.
Skip dessert at the restaurant and instead find the best-looking person you can, saunter up to them, smile and ask where to find the best gelato in town. If your game is on, you'll be escorted there on a Vespa. Trust this.
The Young Man and the Sea
As important as what ones does at the beach, is which beach and sea one chooses. I prefer the Mediterranean for its high algae and salt content, both of which are excellent for the skin. Don't treat this decision lightly. Choose erroneously and you may wind up on the Italian version of Jones Beach. I know. Deep breaths. This is why you read my blog.
An excellent choice for the well-heeled (read: me and soon, perhaps YOU!) is Portofino. Situated just far enough from the tourist meccas of Tuscany to keep the Beckys and Diannes away, this is Italian Riviera life done to the nines. Keep in mind that it is important to have a yacht on which to base yourself (also, in which to stock your Beluga caviar and Dom). If you don't have a yacht or an invitation to one, good luck scrambling amongst the jagged rocks in a futile (and funny for those of us pointing and laughing) attempt to find a stretch of beach on which to toss your carcass. If Valentino sees you, you may be instructed to don black lace and join the old widows who spend their days scouring the cobblestone streets, so that the rest of us may wear our loafers unscuffed.
Allora. What are you waiting for? The Italians are already on their loungers, soaking in il sole.
Buon viaggio!
xoxo
