Diary of An Arriviste

What to Wear: Verbier

2011-01-24T11:16:00.000-08:00

Leave the North Face jackets to the plebeians who flock to Vail with their rental skis and day passes. An arriviste wouldn't dream of skiing anywhere so pedestrian. This year, on the powdery slopes of Verbier, Swizerland, we'll be wearing Thom Browne's latest collection.

The Fall line debuted last week in Paris. To view the entire collection, visit:

http://www.style.com/

2010-12-22T07:30:00.001-08:00

Artist's Profile: Cy Twombly

2010-12-09T06:52:00.000-08:00

In 1962 Cy Twombly (born 1928 in Lexington, Virginia) painted a work that illustrates many of the abiding engagements of his practice. Untitled is divided into two zones by a horizonal line about two thirds of the way up. Across the bottom edge of the canvas, Twombly has scribbled a textual fragment gleaned from the poet Sappho: "But their heart turned cold + they dropped their wings." The phrase, suggesting a hovering between higher and lower realms, conjures up a distant classical realm, even as the grappling, awkward hand renders the words materially present.

Cy Twombly has long been an Arriviste favourite, revealing through Abstract Expressionism a non-linear approach to poetry through painting & sculpture. Often calling upon Roman mythology, his graffiti-like scribblings create a visual terrain in which his words can settle and exist. Chaotic, visceral, alive.

To learn more about the artist and his work, please visit www.cytwombly.info

The Rider: Arriviste Essentials

2010-11-30T10:57:00.001-08:00

Gwyneth Paltrow in Emma, an Arriviste essential.

Arriviste is going on a world tour. Berlin, Paris, Sicilia, Lisboa...anything is possible. Although I could forward a list of demands longer than James Joyce's Ulysses, I prefer to keep to the essentials (as good help is so hard to find).

Life would be undignified without the following...

1: Power Plate. For in-room workouts
.

6: Diptyque Figuier Candles

1: Hermes Cashmere Blanket

1 Bottle: Rodin Olio Lusso Body Oil

2 Cases: Ars Poetica Vulcano Aglianico. You may have to fly to Basilicata to source this wine. Contact your private wine agent.

2 Cases: Sanfaustino Mineral Water from Umbria. The best-tasting water on earth.

Thanksgiving: An Arriviste Survival Guide

2010-11-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

Chanson du Jour: "La Musique," YELLE

2010-10-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

Cliquez ici!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFlREop_Ufw

"Turning the Pages of OK! Magazine Is My Cardio."

2010-10-19T08:46:00.001-07:00

Do you relate to the above title? Do you arm yourself with a pile of gossip magazines to peruse while barely breaking a sweat on the elliptical machine (yet making a big show of huffing and puffing)? Chew on a Lara Bar and consider this: if you're able to truly focus on what you're reading, you're probably not working very hard.

The East coast's descent into cooler weather is no excuse to become lazy (and flabby). In fact, boosting your workout will provide the energy and endorphins you'll need to make it through a winter full of pedestrians in Annie Sez sweaters and Chico's caftans. And if you're headed to a warm and sunny destination such as Rio, well, your tight & lean figure is just a beach bonus.

Interval training refers to the method of training that employs short, concentrated bursts of higher intensity movement for a fixed period of time, followed by a return to a moderate rate of cardio. Coupled with weight training and plyometrics, this fitness method forces your body to move in unexpected ways, therefore challenging your muscles in a new fashion.

Result: a higher metabolic rate, resulting in fat & weight loss in the same, or often less, time than you're spending on that tired old Precor.

For a more in-depth explanation of interval training, read this piece from The New York Times:

http://http//www.nytimes.com/2007/05/03/fashion/03Fitness.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

See you at Ipanema Beach, fatties!

xxxo

Une Écharpe : Tie One On

2010-10-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

In the United States, the lowly scarf is often an afterthought, relegated to the bottom of the accessories closet (you DO have one of those, correct?) to be dug out once the weather turns bitter.

If you've ever purchased a scarf from a street vendor, or God-forbid referred to one as "a muffler" (See what I did there? I'm judging you!), pay close attention to the video found in the title of this post.

From a piazza in Firenze, a gentleman demonstrates how to turn una sciarpa from dowdy cold weather-accessory into sartorial glitter, taking you from domestic to international first-class.

Why remain State-side?

*Click on title to view the video demonstration.

Video courtesy of www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com

La Dolce Vita: Holiday Italian-Style

2010-07-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

The season is upon us, and if you've been following along, you should be flaunting your beach body from the shores of Nantucket to St. Tropez. I'm not here to speak of calories. Watching one's calories is what one does throughout the Fall, Winter, and Spring. The Summer is purely about pleasure. And there is one country that has spent centuries perfecting the pursuit of leisure and pleasure. (Can it be any coincidence that Marcello Mastroianni, Federico Fellini, and Sophia Loren all hail from here?)

Vacation: verb ex. The Italians Vacation Better Than You Do

Ragazzi, it is a lifestyle, and like any lifestyle, it requires committment. The science of summering is an art, so begin by using vacation and summer as verbs. Verbs require action, and below I will outline the basic tenets of summering well. Read on...

Tanning

If you're fortunate enough to have a complexion the colour of gilded Roman coins such as I (so lucky!), you may move ahead to the next section. If, however, your "tan" is more akin in colour to the boiled crustaceans that the Nicoise are so fond of, read my previous post outlining the basics of tanning. It is important to use an SPF of 30: allowing just enough sun into the dermis to be kissed with colour, without looking like the victim of permanent microdermabrasion. Also important is the use of an apres-sun moisturizer. While the sea water is excellent for the skin, the salt and sun will leave you parched. Try In Fiore's body oils for soft skin and a sexy scent:

http://www.beautyhabit.com/product7367.html

Food & Wine

You've been a disciplined little beast all year long. This is your reward. Italy has some of the greatest cuisine in the world, so enjoy it. Begin the day with a caffe macchiato, shying away from heavy, milky drinks such as lattes and cappuccinos. If you must eat breakfast, be decadent. Gelato is an absolutely acceptable (and highly encouraged) breakfast staple.

You may notice that la spiaggia begins clearing out at 13:00. Follow suit and find a seaside trattoria or ristorante for il pranzo. Order a bottle of acqua minerale frizzante: the high mineral content and natural effervescence are fantastic for your health and digestion. Order wine by the bottle: the best ones are not served al bicchiere. Try a crisp Falanghina, or an icy-cold, fruity Orvieto Bianco.

To eat, begin with the bruschetta, which will likely be made using the gorgeous San Marzano tomato, widely considered to be the greatest tomato in the world. Follow with a plate of cozze, mussels steamed in butter and garlic, finished with freshly chopped parsley and mint. For a pure taste of the sea, the only pasta to order is the spaghetti alle vonghole, spaghetti with clams. A true coastal staple, the al dente pasta is tossed with butter, olive oil, and steamed clams, and finished with white wine and fines herbes.

While eating, be sure to revel in the smugness that you so richly deserve. While your dining-mate (let's call her Helga) dabs furiously at her sweaty brow, nervously eyeing the pool of butter

collecting at the bottom of your plate, be sure to slowwwwly swirl your spaghetti on the fork, before dragging the entire mound through said pool of butter. For extra effect, tear off a large piece of bread (oh, the carbs!) and mop up as much of the remnant oil & butter as the bread will soak up.

Skip dessert at the restaurant and instead find the best-looking person you can, saunter up to them, smile and ask where to find the best gelato in town. If your game is on, you'll be escorted there on a Vespa. Trust this.

The Young Man and the Sea

As important as what ones does at the beach, is which beach and sea one chooses. I prefer the Mediterranean for its high algae and salt content, both of which are excellent for the skin. Don't treat this decision lightly. Choose erroneously and you may wind up on the Italian version of Jones Beach. I know. Deep breaths. This is why you read my blog.

An excellent choice for the well-heeled (read: me and soon, perhaps YOU!) is Portofino. Situated just far enough from the tourist meccas of Tuscany to keep the Beckys and Diannes away, this is Italian Riviera life done to the nines. Keep in mind that it is important to have a yacht on which to base yourself (also, in which to stock your Beluga caviar and Dom). If you don't have a yacht or an invitation to one, good luck scrambling amongst the jagged rocks in a futile (and funny for those of us pointing and laughing) attempt to find a stretch of beach on which to toss your carcass. If Valentino sees you, you may be instructed to don black lace and join the old widows who spend their days scouring the cobblestone streets, so that the rest of us may wear our loafers unscuffed.

Allora. What are you waiting for? The Italians are already on their loungers, soaking in il sole.

Buon viaggio!

xoxo

A Model's Best Kept Secret

2010-03-23T14:06:00.000-07:00

No, it isn't a finger-condom to prevent skin & nail deterioration caused by repeated purging.

It's this. Models and beauty editors have known about what I am going to divulge for years.

Rodin Olio Lusso Face Oil, in place of your moisturizer.

3 drops is all you'll need. Massage onto still-damp skin after bathing.

Available at Barney's New York, and online at:

http://www.beautyhabit.com/

Do this: Abdominal Pike

2009-12-04T07:45:00.000-08:00

For those looking to tighten the abdominal area, cardio is Blair to your Serena.

You must trim excess fat off of the belly area in order for your ab muscles to show through. (That means you should not still be eating Thanksgiving leftovers!)

Friend #2, however, is an effective core exercise(s).

The abdominal pike, using an exercise ball, will engage your major core muscles, burning and tightening them with a simple, repetitive motion.

Start in a plank position (basic push-up) with your feet on top of an exercise ball. Engage your core, and pull (roll) the ball towards your chest, forming an inverted V with your entire body. Tighten your abs when you reach the highest point, and then slowly return to starting position.

Click on the title of this post for a video demonstration (with optional jack knife exercise).

Do you hear that? It's the sound of a thousand holiday calories screaming in pain.

It's summer in Rio, so prepare to suit up.

Drink This: Kombucha

2009-09-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

Kombucha (pronounced kom-boo-chah) is a fermented tea, made with a particular strain of fungus. The tea is allowed to steep as the fungus grows. Once prepared, it is best served over ice.

There are countless purported health benefits, some of which are:

Better digestion

Metabolic support

Skin clarity

Actually, I'll stop right there. If keeping thin and clear skin aren't enough to sell you, you've come to the wrong page, my dear.

Several brands of kombucha are now available at le supermarche and health food stores, but the best brand, hands-down, is GT's Kombucha. Using organic ingredients, the kombucha is available on its own, or as Synergy, mixed with organic fruit juices.

As the Original formula tastes like a port-o-potty after a day at Lilith Fair, I suggest opting for the Synergy, in Gingerade, Mango, Guava, or Gingerberry.

One final, but crucial benefit: it can cure your prosecco hangover in a matter of minutes.

What are you waiting for?

xoxo.

Crave Worthy: Priorat

2009-07-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

From Wikipedia.com:

Priorat is a comarca (county) in Catalonia, Spain. The central part of the comarca, "Priorat històric," produces the famous and prestigious wine of the Denominación de Origen Calificada Priorat. Wines from elsewhere in the comarca are denominated as Montsant. The area is also known for the production of hazelnuts.
Priorat had a steady loss of population during the 20th century, but has recently as of 2004 experienced a more prosperous economy, resulting in an end to this trend. In 2001, the population was 9,196, with only the capital (Falset) exceeding a population of 1,000.

This region of Southern Catalunya is producing some of the most intense, inky red wines you'll find anywhere in Espana. Indigenous varietals such as garnacha commingle with imported grapes of the syrah, cabernet, and merlot varieties, lending a minerally, jammy flavour and velvety mouth-feel.

Fill the Aston Martin (Alfa Romeo if you're Nasty) with a case of this wine the next time you make a trip to Majorca. (Save your white/rose riojas for Ibiza.)

Just be careful you don't overdo the jamon. It is still swimwear season, after all.

xoxo.

Song of the Day: Chanson du Jour

2009-07-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

We are well into Vilebrequin season (http://www.vilebrequin.com/), so I hope you've been beach-ready for some time now.

If, however, you still need someone to pry that pain au chocolat out of your (fat) fingers, what is required is much more serious.

You'll need an overhaul of your outlook on fitness.

We want nihilistic. We want soul-crushing. We want teeth-baring.

This is your soundtrack.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdkmhquF60o&feature=channel

See you by la piscine.

xoxo.

Word of the Day: Epaulette

2009-07-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

It's time for a little ecole. Since you probably fell asleep or passed notes during French class, allow me to point out what you've been missing.

From Wikipedia.com:

"Epaulette (pronounced /ˈɛpǝlɛt/[1]) is a French word meaning "little shoulder" (from épaule, meaning "shoulder"). Epaulettes are a type of ornamental shoulder piece or decoration used as insignia or rank by the military and other organizations. Colloquially, the word has also come to refer to some types of shoulder strap."

The epaulette can take even the most basic black turtleneck and give it that detail that takes you from the Bowery to St. Germain-des-Pres. (That last word is pronounced "pray" for my readers in Indiana.)

It seems that American retailers are finally beginning to pay attention to "insignificant" sartorial details such as fabric, cut, and finish.

Invest in a turtleneck and a short-sleeved button down with Epaulette detailing, and you'll be prepared for whatever life throws you. Whether it's Paris or Provence.

Ecoutez-moi bien.

xoxo.

Chanson du Jour: Song of the Day

2009-06-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

"Good Girls Go Bad" by Cobra Starship featuring guest vocals by Leighton Meester.

Mlle. Meester is smoking hot and an Arriviste favourite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGqUYuMuGPQ

Enjoy.

xoxo.

Crave Worthy: The Gym Bag

2009-06-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

Going to the gym is no excuse for having poor taste in accessories. If you're going to perfect your body, look good on the way there.

If you can't afford it, perhaps you should think twice about showing your face at all.

xoxo.

How To: Abs Part 1 - Diet

2009-06-23T12:56:00.001-07:00

Oh, the ever-elusive 6-pack (in my case, 8-pack). Every garcon is desperate for washboard abs, but let's face it: they take a lot of discipline.

So, please put down that jambon/fromage baguette (Ham & Cheese Hot Pocket for those of you in the Midwest) and listen up.

Before I delve into my arsenal of exercises, we need to talk about diet. Some people hate that word. I LIVE for it.

What you eat on a daily basis counts for 70% of how your body will look. What you want are lean meats and high-fiber leafy greens. Examples:

Steamed salmon and sauteed spinach - Yes

Filet O Fish - Nyet

Sprouted Wheat Morning Cereal - Oui!

Cap'n Crunch - Mais Non, fatty.

Organic Mediterranean Yoghurt handmade by the village peasant woman - high protein, low fat, all humiliation! Win!

Anytime you are feeling a little peckish, snack on some Osetra or Beluga caviar. The mouthfeel and the saltiness curb cravings like a dream. Added bonus: you'll feel superior to the commoners around you.

Those of you with social lives will also want to know about cocktails and the like.

Red Wine: Oui Oui Oui!! Full of antioxidants and resveratrol, red wine lowers bad cholesterol and fights free radical damage to cells. That means better health AND better skin.

Beer: Um, have you SEEN what people in Milwaulkee look like? Do you have the dry heaves yet? That's what I thought.

Lowest calorie option - vodka & scotch, either neat, on the rocks, or with soda. No tonic! (Please do not ever be so daft as to order a Cosmopolitan. We are no longer living in 1998.)

Eat a lower carb diet full of lean protein, leafy dark greens, and plenty of fiber, and you're on your way to intimidating people with the flatness of your tummy.

Because I live to intimidate.

Xoxo.

How To: Safe Tanning

2009-06-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

I don't often hear those governmental warnings about sun damage and skin cancer when I'm in the middle of the sea on a yacht, but I have seen a few adverts during my layovers at JFK.

(Americans are such pills. Why do they take the fun out of EVERYTHING?)

Listen, a little sun is good for you. Most people don't have the complexion or skin tone that I possess, so a little extra glow will work wonders if you're not as fortunate as I.

What we want to avoid here is the W word. I think I feel a little vomit coming up at the very thought of it.....w-w-wrinkles. ThereIsaidit.

So here's how you do it.

1. Invest in a quality, broadband sunscreen (I'm looking at you, Connie Coppertone), with an SPF of 30-40. Don't apply it when you're already on your deck chair. Apply it before leaving the villa. I recommend this:

http://www.blissworld.com/product/skin+care/shop+skincare/sun+smart/sunscreens/bliss+oil-free+sunban+lotion+for+the+face+with+spf+30.do

2. Limit your direct sun exposure to 2 hours. This will give you the colour that you want, without the redness that you don't.

3. Follow up sun exposure with moisturizer for face and body:

For face, take a pea-sized amount of Decleor Essential Balm, and rub palms together until the balm melts, and apply in long strokes to face and neck area. Leave on overnight.

http://sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P4778&shouldPaginate=true&categoryId=4071

For body, apply a good quality moisturizer, such as La Mer The Lotion:

http://www.blissworld.com/product/skin+care/shop+skincare/sun+smart/sunscreens/la+mer+the+spf+18.do?filterby=&sortby=null&asc=false&finder=null

Et, voila! With your newly sun-kissed, bronzed skin, you'll be one step closer to being as pretty as me.

My philanthropic endeavours know no bounds.

Et maintenant, je prends du soleil.

xoxo.

Do Not Fake Bake

2009-06-15T12:42:00.001-07:00

Coming up: Tips on safe tanning.

Away for Le Weekend

2009-06-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Cristal Connors is going to guard the blog while I'm away.

xoxo.

Weekend Music - Cut Copy

2009-06-12T08:53:00.001-07:00

Mother Nature needs some Adderall lately, so I don't know whether it will be sunny or rainy in New York City this weekend.

What I do know is that Cut Copy's album "In Ghost Colours" is pure, New Wave summer.

So download it and listen to it this weekend, whether you're relaxing on Fire Island, or stuffing your face with Entenmann's Raspberry Danish Cake.

Plus: the lead singer is real purdy.

I don't know what you downtrodden folk would do without me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khGPcAa8_YI

How To: Hangover

2009-06-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

Listen up, motherfuckers. I'm about to share some very special insider information.

When the Bollinger bottle has run dry (God forbid you drank Veuve Cliquot, you cheap harlot), when the yacht has docked, and when your walk-of-shame down the boulevards of St-Tropez is upon you, it means only one thing: an almighty hangover of epic proportions is on its way.

Now, we will accept partial blame for this, because a) it's hard to refuse a Czar offering you a vintage champagne, and b) weighing 125 lbs means having to sacrifice food, i.e. nothing in your system to soak up the alcohol.

There's only one cure for this kind of sad. And don't even say the word "Gatorade." We don't do pedestrian "sports" drinks. Get your minds out of the gutter.

What your body craves is young coconut water. A natural rehydrant, it will recharge your system within minutes. Which means you'll spend less time in bed, and more time flaunting that taut 125 lb frame on the French Riviera.

Because I (and you) are too sublime to waste time "recovering." After all, another yacht awaits.

Word of the day: Sartorial

2009-06-11T11:20:00.000-07:00

We are primarily an educational blog, so today's word of the day will prove useful at your next charity ball or Royal Ascot.

From Wiktionary.com:

Adjective

Sartorial

Of or relating to the tailoring of clothing.

"His sartorial rebellions were slight: he wore jeans, for example, when giving tutorials." --Parini, Jay, "By Their Clothes Ye Shall Know Them," in The Chronicle of Higher Education, 21 Dec 2001, B24.

Of or relating to the quality of dress

In his smart suit Jacob was by far the most sartorial of our party.
(anatomy) Of or relating to the sartorius muscle.

Ex. His sartorial leanings (Old Navy) bore no relation to his massive fortune (oil tycoon).

Now you try!

"How much is this?" "It's VERY expensive."

2009-06-11T08:42:00.000-07:00

This is a photo of me wearing a gorgeous designer coat that most of you can't afford.

That's all.

Chanson du Jour: Song of the Day - "Amour du Sol"

2009-06-11T05:41:00.000-07:00

I understand that the vast majority of the population is remarkably declasse (forgive moi for omitting the accent aigu - a dilettante doesn't have time to search for such things). Therefore, I don't expect most of you to understand a word of French.

Despite that, there are lessons to be learned here. Yelle is a lovely French girl with a long, Audrey Hepburn-like neck, tall, slim physique, and a chic Parisian bob that takes pluck to pull off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk2BHj7d7xo

You should also be jealous that she and I can eat wheels of brie, loaves of baguette, and drink glass upon glass of Bordeaux, and remain enviably thin.

I've included a video with subtitles for the dolts out there too uneducated to speak a foreign language.

"Je chante en francais, des annees quatre-vingt."

xoxo.

Inspired Living

2009-06-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

Inspired Living will be an ongoing series of quotes, motivational words, and exercises designed to help you through those dark times that we all experience from time to time.

I suggest that you jot these down on an index card, and keep them with you. You can turn to them throughout the day for continued support, encouragement, and motivation. Use a Maison Cartier Fountain Pen for that extra je ne sais quoi.

Today's Inspired Living quote:

"Beauty may be only skin deep, but ugly's to the bone."

Sink your veneers into that one kids. It's a keeper.

How To: Fragrance

2009-06-10T06:36:00.000-07:00

If the word cologne conjures horrifying images of Drakkar Noir, PE class, and acne, it's time to re-evaluate your relationship with fragrances.

Maybe you were that kid who was pummelled during dodgeball, picked last during kickball, and became very familiar with the armpit of the class bully.

But you've moved on! Right? Right?

People underestimate the power of fragrance. Have you ever smelled someone who smelled so delicious you wanted to mount them, then and there? Have you ever been approached by a goon whose overzealous use of Brut aftershave made your nostrils cry and left you screaming "Staten Island?"

Done right, fragrance can place you in the former category - the prom king that everyone wants to get down with.

First things first: what season is it? Yes, it makes a difference. Winter calls for warmer, heavier, woodsier colognes. Summer begs for something light, fresh, and citrusy.

Everybody has a different pH level, and therefore each fragrance will smell slightly different on each person. A good quality fragrance will be made with high quality essential oils, and should last throughout the day, with only a couple of sprays necessary.

The best option for those who haven't narrowed down the right fragrance(s) would be to take a taxi straightaway to Barney's on Madison Avenue. Their fragrance department (sub-level) is unparallelled and their staff very knowledgable. Tell them your favourite scents, and they'll find you the perfect fragrance.

In the meantime, because my taste is impeccable, here are a few that I'd recommend. You'd do well to heed my advice.

Comme des Garcons: somewhat mass market (available at Sephora), it's hard to go wrong with this line. Their fragrances are masculine, spicy, urban, and sophisticated. They transition best from fall to winter.

http://www.beautyhabit.com/commesdesgarcons.html

Diptyque: makers of the finest candles in the world. Some of their frangrances are single-note (not too many layers of scent), so they are perfect if you prefer something simpler. In warmer weather, try the Philosykos - it will have you (and those who smell you) dreaming of Santorini. For fall, try the L'eau de Tarocco, a balanced blend of citrus and musk.

http://www.beautyhabit.com/diptyque_edt.html

For a real treat (for most people this is a splurge, but I like to use it daily, sometimes even as my deodorant!), head to Bergdorf Goodman's Men's store, which stocks the entire line of Creed Perfumes. I often wear the Erolfa when summering on Capri, and the Himalaya whilst reading Tolstoy by the fire.

http://www.creedperfumes.us/creed_permananent_collection.php

Smell ya later!

Xoxo.

Word of the Day: Arriviste

2009-06-10T06:08:00.000-07:00

From Wiktionary.com:

Noun
Singular: arriviste

Plural: arrivistes, arriviste (plural arrivistes)

upstart, newcomer, late arrival, nouveau riche, generally characterised as an ambitious, brash or arrogant person who has yet to integrate with his or her new social group.

They say that like it's a bad thing. Jealous.

You'll Never Be As Pretty As Us

2009-06-09T12:40:00.000-07:00

No, that's not a "Sounds of the Humpback Whale" cd you're listening to. RUDE!

It's our favourite busty, lusty starlet, Scarlett Johansson.

You'll never be as pretty as she or I, but maybe, just maybe, listening to her cover of this beautiful Tom Waits song will provide an osmotic infusion of glamour.

I'm not making any promises.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGNo5zWPEQA

If Your Family Couldn't Afford Ralph Lauren...

2009-06-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

...I made fun of you in high school. In fact, I still do.

xoxo.

The First Time Is Always a Little Painful

2009-06-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd post my first-ever blog update on something near and dear to my heart: skin care.

It is truly frightening to witness how few people have dedicated skin-care regimens, even in glamourous NYC. Come on, people! We're not living in Indiana! We must keep up appearances.

Chelsea boys, I see you pumping iron, taking steroids, preening with hair gel, all in the name of vanity. Unfortunately, when you meet that special someone at a bar at 2am and you step into the harsh reality of track lighting, you risk scaring them off at the sight of your oversized pores and cackle lines. Fret not! I am here to help.

I've been using eye cream since I was 18, but I'm special and that's why I'm here. My superiority has its charitable side, so listen up.

Invest in the following: cleanser, exfoliant, toner, moisturizer, eye cream. Optional: serums.

Cleanse, exfoliate (everyday if you use a gentle exfoliant, thrice a week if it's a scrub), tone, moisturize face, apply serum to face, apply eye gel.

The process takes 5 minutes once you get into a routine.

If you want extra-flawless skin, invest in a good brand line. I recommend:

http://www.biologique-recherche.com/home.php?lang=fr-en

The next time you are sunning on Mustique, skiing in Aspen, or wine tasting in Tuscany, and you see your friends washing their dirty mugs with Noxeema, feel free to point, laugh, and smugly reach for your Biologique Recherche products.

You've been schooled.